“Be your child’s greatest advocate!” “You know your child better than anyone!” “Don’t back down until your child has everything they need, and rightfully deserve!” “Advocate!” 

At what point did the role of an advocate become so closely related to that of a fighter?

Parents of exceptional children may feel that their biggest responsibility is to advocate for their child. Often they are made to feel that it’s most likely to be a constant battle. Parents pitting themselves against their children’s school is a disheartening notion. This is not how parents should feel when considering their role as an advocate for their child.

Changing this mentality…

It is essential to empowering parents to build a partnership with their child’s school. Parents should be encouraged to learn to advocate through collaboration and open communication. After all, there is no better way for a child to succeed than with the support of both home and school. 

The number one goal in advocacy is to be constructive, not combative. Here are some important things to consider when building a partnership with your child’s school. 

Ask questions and gather information.

Do not be afraid or embarrassed to ask questions about the things that you are unsure of. If you require further clarification, ask for it.

Learn the “language”.

In education we use so many acronyms that it can be mind boggling. Keep a notebook of common acronyms you are hearing and make note of what they mean. Write down the words that you are frequently hearing and make note of what they mean too. Understanding terminology can make a huge difference when discussing next steps with your child’s teacher. 

Figure out the best way to communicate with your child’s teachers.

This is something that may look different each year. Make suggestions if you know of something that has worked well for you or your child in previous years. Be open to new ways of communicating such as communication folders. Ask, “Does email work work best, or are phone calls preferred?’ 

Offer your insight.

There is a lot that happens at home that can affect a child’s day at school. If your child didn’t sleep well, for example, let their teacher know. This sets your child and their teacher up for success the next day. Focus on what the teacher needs to know about your child in respect to their successes, challenges and/or any big changes that might be going on at home. To help a new teacher get to know your child, consider creating a simple Advocacy Card of your child’s strengths, as well as their interests and things they may find challenging. 

Build relationships with your school staff.

Get to know your child’s teacher, but don’t forget about their Educational Assistant, Special Education Resources Teacher, or any other teacher that may be a part of your support team, as well as your school’s principal and vice principal. Building relationships will help to keep lines of communication open as well as prevent any potential miscommunications from occurring.

Remember that the teacher and other school staff are there to help.

You may disagree with a decision that has been made or a strategy that has been used. Try to keep an open mind and listen to the reasons behind them. Parent input is invaluable when it is given in a constructive way, not a combative way.

When needed, seek alternate channels.

If you feel that you are not being heard by your child’s teacher, reach out to other members of the school team for support.  You may want to request an In-School Team Meeting.  This will gather a team of professionals to hear your concerns and work to create an action plan.

Attend meetings whenever you can.

Identification, Placement, & Review Committee meetings (IPRC) and Meet the Teacher or Student-Led Conferencing are great opportunities to connect with your child’s teacher or support team about the progress that has been made and next steps to be taken. In-school Team Meetings and Transition Meetings are also valuable opportunities for you to provide and gather information about your child. 

You are the decision maker when it comes to your child.

Decisions will have to be made, but parents should not feel pressured as to which direction they will lean. It is the school’s job to share their professional opinion in the best interest of your child. It is ultimately your job to make the decisions that you feel are right for your child and your family. 

At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.

– Jane D. Hull

Being a parent is hard.  Our goal at socialskilled is to make it a little easier and we hope this blog has helped in some small way.  We are so happy that you stopped by and would love to hear from you.  Send us your questions or suggestions through our website or socials.  We are in this together.

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